tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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