doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
