im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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