I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
