you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
