My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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