You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
