would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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