u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
