I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize