So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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