why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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