so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
