There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
