turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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