Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
