Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize