i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
