we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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