it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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