just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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