this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize