Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
