You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
literally had 100 drinks last night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
