how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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