You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
