Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize