I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
