I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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