i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i drank out of a bidet.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
