i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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