Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
