I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
