im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
