you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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