one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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