its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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