I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
