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I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
