thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
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