Whatcha textin bout Willis?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
