This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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