Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
