Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
