shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
