Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
