My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
