So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
