It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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