Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
