I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
