Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
