just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
someone owes me an orgasm
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
