So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
