I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
