we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
