If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
