Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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