I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
