I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
