note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
