hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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