Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
