Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
