Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
