normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
